Gus and the Heavenside Lair
by Inspector Karamazov
Summary: Poor Gus is old and tired, and wants more than anything to go Heavenside.


**Author's Note: I don't own the characters, obviously. Only bits of the plot, because I am not Andrew Lloyd.**

** Also, much love and kisses to Insanemistosingmore, who reads and reviews my stories.**

I've been around for many years. It seems that even though the world around me keeps changing, I remain. Although I have changed, too. You wouldn't know it from the look of me, but I once was a wonderful dancer. I can't remember the last time I danced. My paws shake too much for that now.

Year after year I've come to this Jellicle ball. I've seen a lot of cats come and go. It seems like there's always someone new, but there are old faces as well. Each year someone else goes Heavenside. Last year it was Old Deuteronomy himself. Funny that they call him old, as I'm much older. Munkustrap has stepped into his place, now. He's a bit young for the job, but he'll learn.

I'm getting so tired of coming here year after year. I sometimes wish that I could forget it and not come, but I've always had a remarkable memory. I remember everything, like the songs I sung when I was young. But my voice is as shaky as my paws, so I do not sing now.

I wonder which cat they will choose this year? Five years ago it was that Grizabella. I couldn't begrudge it of her, she deserved it. I can recall who it was the year before that, and the year before that, and so on all the way back to the first Jellicle ball.

Oh, the things I've seen. I've seen Macavity defeated, I've seen Jemima grow up and marry. I've seen good cats become bad and bad cats become good. I've seen it all: the ocean, mountains, a fully eclipsed moon.....so many beautiful and wonderful things have come and gone. Of course, I do not see much now. My sight is as weak as my voice.

They are singing now. Munkustrap is telling some old story, the one about the Peaks and the Pollicles. They will choose soon. I know some of the cats are talking about it. Everything sounds so far away, though. I wish I could hear better, but my ears are as bad as my sight.

I cannot dance or sing. I can barely hear and see. What kind of Jellicle cat am I now? Not much of one, I'm afraid, but if you had seen me in my day, you would have been amazed. I played the ferocious Growltiger once. Ah, what I wouldn't give to do it again, just once.

They have assembled now, and Munkustrap is talking. I can't hear him, but it hardly matters. No-one really knows I exist anyway. I come here year after year, and they barely notice me. I can hardly complain, though. I was well recognized in my time.

My dim eyes are making out a few shapes. Munkustrap is pacing. The cats are talking, but I cannot hear. Was that a cheer? I cannot really tell, but I think they've decided. I can't see who it is. I try to get up from where I'm sitting to congratulate the chosen cat, but I can't move. My joints hurt too much.

But, oh! They're coming here! Can they have really chosen me? I feel gentle paws in mine, helping me to my feet.

"Come with me, you dear old cat."

"Come with you where?" I can barely speak, but he hears me.

"You are going Heavenside, Gus."

"Heavenside? The Heavenside Lair? It can't be. You've all forgotten me-"

"But you see that we haven't. And now you are going up!"

I can see the others gathering around as slowly, the stairs to the Heavenside Lair ascend.

I pause on the first step to turn around. I wish I could say something, but I am crying. I feel strong arms about me, and all the Jellicles pass by to grasp my paw or embrace me. At last, they all fall away, and I am left alone on the stairs.

It is a hard climb, but I make it. And, Oh! What is this? I can see again, and everything is made of bright, new colours. I hear singing, the most beautiful singing I've ever heard. It is a new song, but I can learn it.

My feet start moving to the beat of the song, and I am dancing. Can you believe it? I'm dancing again! Oh, if only I had words. You cannot know what it's like to be bound for so many years, and then to break free and dance again!

It almost seems like a dream, but it is a glorious one, and I hope I shall never wake.


End file.
